Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
