didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
