i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
