Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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