btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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