Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
