If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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