WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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