Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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