Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
