I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have post one night stand depression
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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