I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
