she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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