i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
