I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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