Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
