when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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