It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
