WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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