Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize