I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
