Your tits are I can't wait for
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
