he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
