Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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