you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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