dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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