Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.

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(301): View more from Maryland

The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.

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(940): View more from Texas

I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....

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(386): View more from Florida

Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now

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(540): View more from Virginia

Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.

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(773): View more from Illinois

The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.

(206): View more from Washington

I should have never moved out...

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks

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