She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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