I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
jump out the window naked night went bad
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