do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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