He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
