You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
