Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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