He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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