What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
