gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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