weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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