You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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