You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We are all done wearing pants today
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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