it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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