The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have aggressive nipples.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
