I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
