Cold hands, warm shart.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
