i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm passing your future prison.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
