Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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