I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
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Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
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I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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