critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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