# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
