Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
