I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
