You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
