I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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