Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
