I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
