To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
