its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
