Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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