Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
