this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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