i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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