I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
