Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
